[He gives the little message a couple of careful readings before he replies. An animal's an animal, after all; there's no real moral difference. And she's on Red Team at eleven. So.]
People do what they have to, Arya. You do. I do. It's no different for anyone else here.
[...and yet, seeing it is different. But how to keep it out of his reply?]
01 It isn't really different. You killed your pigeons, because if you didn't you'd be dead. Self-defence. And somehow I don't believe you killed somebody for fun back home. You care too much.
02 Everyone has something they'd die to protect. That's easy. The question, then, becomes whether you would kill to protect it. And what you'd kill, and how many. I can't make that choice for you.
01 It wasn't always self defence. And I don't feel bad about it. They deserved to die, and I deserved to be the one to kill them.
02 It's still different to destroying a whole civilisation. We've only met sharks and shai and madu and killer birds here, but what if we have to destroy whole towns full of people who've done nothing to deserve it?
[It's terribly harsh language, which Simon finds himself understanding far too well; there are people who deserve to die. He knows that now, even if he can't let himself think it. The rest of what she says is almost worse: You will not involve any other recruit in any subversive or insubordinate behaviour, nor will you involve yourself in them..
Black and white morality, he thinks. Like a child's: the bad people, yes, but not a whole town. He doesn't think once that it might also be like his own.]
Then we do. That's all. Because those are our orders. It doesn't make you responsible. Do you understand me?
The rest of it. Do you want to talk about it when we're out of here again? I'm here if you do.
[Simon, that is such a copout. But he wants to be able to see her face and assess her, and calm her if need be.]
[He's disappointed to have had to. But he will find her.]
We will talk, all right? I promise.
[... unless whatever's bearing down on them crushes him, and he dies. But no; they both have to survive now, so he can keep his promise. It's not much of a comfort; the noise outside now is deafening. His rover is rocking.]
[It's difficult for Arya to believe in promises any more. But this one seems harmless enough - at least, if they live through their current situation.]
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[She appreciates the inclusiveness there.]
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They say things like that at home. "You only live once".
You know some people here say they died already? That's what they came here from.
[He's thinking of Kagari, mainly, who's so loud and vibrant and makes a point of mentioning it.]
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[Different worlds, after all. Simon is interested, but he doesn't patronise her with Are you sure?—yet.]
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[He suspects a street trick—but then again, he remembers Gliese's steel collar with sickening vividity.]
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[Trying to lighten the mood. Outside, the wind is picking up.]
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[Like he didn't shoot a rabbitmouse right in front of her. -10 mood breaking, though.]
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[It doesn't feel like something he would say. But it is the way of the world they share.]
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Besides, everything feeds on something else. That's life.
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[She's not calling him out on it. She's actually a little pleasantly surprised. Maybe he's not as much of an idiot as she takes him for.]
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I'm almost hurt. You thought I was going to wring my hands about a pigeon?
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People do what they have to, Arya. You do. I do. It's no different for anyone else here.
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01
It isn't really different. You killed your pigeons, because if you didn't you'd be dead. Self-defence. And somehow I don't believe you killed somebody for fun back home. You care too much.
02
Everyone has something they'd die to protect. That's easy. The question, then, becomes whether you would kill to protect it. And what you'd kill, and how many. I can't make that choice for you.
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It wasn't always self defence. And I don't feel bad about it. They deserved to die, and I deserved to be the one to kill them.
02
It's still different to destroying a whole civilisation. We've only met sharks and shai and madu and killer birds here, but what if we have to destroy whole towns full of people who've done nothing to deserve it?
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Black and white morality, he thinks. Like a child's: the bad people, yes, but not a whole town. He doesn't think once that it might also be like his own.]
Then we do. That's all. Because those are our orders. It doesn't make you responsible. Do you understand me?
The rest of it. Do you want to talk about it when we're out of here again? I'm here if you do.
[Simon, that is such a copout. But he wants to be able to see her face and assess her, and calm her if need be.]
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[And she finds herself disappointed that he'd respond like that.]
All right.
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We will talk, all right? I promise.
[... unless whatever's bearing down on them crushes him, and he dies. But no; they both have to survive now, so he can keep his promise. It's not much of a comfort; the noise outside now is deafening. His rover is rocking.]
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01
All right.
[Sent a few minutes later.]
02
Stay alive.
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